12.11

Baby Let the Games Begin

MotherhoodPregnancy

If you were wondering—why is she a bit MIA? Where’s pizza Fridays and the wine!? Now you know…

First of all, you guys are making me cry. Reading through all your DM’s now and I just can’t believe how lucky I am. You all feel like such close, wonderful friends and it’s just amazing to be able to share this super special moment in time with you. Thank you so so much for everything you do.

We are so elated about our baby on the way. So many tears of joy recently (well the whole experience so far really, hormones.) just because it has begun to feel so very real and my heart is exploding because of it!

It was no easy feat to keep this secret, but it feels amazing to finally open up and share in the good news with everyone. The last couple of months have been quite a rollercoaster. We found out the night we got home from our trip to Palm Springs in October, which feels like 5 months ago now. I had taken a test right before the trip as I had a feeling, but we got a ‘negative’ so left it at that. After we got home on October 3rd, we were watching a tv show and I had this urge to take the other test just to double check… and sure enough, it was positive. Matt ran to the store to grab a few more tests (as you do!) and every single one confirmed… we were in fact with child. What a crazy feeling!

Excited to answer some of your questions and share a bit more about pregnancy thus far and looking ahead to the best thing that has happened to us… we’re so grateful!

Will you find out the gender?

So, my doctor emailed me last night with the gender and I forwarded it to my sister-in-law… she’s helping us with a gender reveal that Matt and I will be doing just us two later today… but we will be recording and I will share later tonight. FREAKING OUT. I do not have the patience to wait until birth, I must know!

Were you planning/trying to get pregnant?

Yes. We started talking about this a year ago or so. We were hoping to take a trip as a single married couple once more this past summer before starting to try, but life happened (covid) and it changed the course a bit. For a while, I was really back and forth about trying during covid, but we got to this point where we realized, we didn’t want anything to hold us back from something we really want.

What was Matt’s reaction?

Matt is thrilled. I have been saying this for a long time now… he’s had baby fever for a while! It’s really sweet. Most of his friends have a kid or two at this point and he’s just such a family man and so good with kids, he’s so looking forward to being a dad!

How have you been staying healthy/fit with baby and through covid?

Oh gosh, the fist two weeks I was thriving lol… I was like, OH I GOT THIS. I was woking out everyday, eating so healthy, was soooo calm and elated. But then came morning sickness and knocked me on my butt for what felt like a long time. I am just now starting to feel like myself again, so I am getting back into a healthier routine moving forward! More on this below.

What symptoms have you experienced and how have you been feeling?

I have gone through a few waves. The first two weeks I was just super tired. After my morning workout I’d be so sleepy. I would lay in bed a lot to rest during this timeframe (I am not good at napping though, so didn’t really sleep, just Netflix in bed). Morning sickness showed up shortly after and it was really rough. From mid October through when we moved (Nov 20) I was super sick.

At first it was feeling like I was on the verge of getting sick 24/7 and I had a super fussy stomach and appetite. Nothing sounded good but I had to constantly snack on small things throughout the day to make sure my stomach never felt empty because that made me feel worse. It was just very finicky! And then I started to get sick and couldn’t hold down food for a while there.

I started to feel a bit better once we moved, which was so nice! Mornings and afternoons I’d feel pretty normal but early evenings I would start to feel achey and a little queasy. The past week I have really turned a corner (right on cue as I hit the second trimester). Feeling so much energy and haven’t gotten sick, which is very exciting!

Have you had any cravings?

It really does feel like a blur looking back at the last two months, but apples helped me so much in the beginning. Apples, apple sauce, cucumber sesame salad, bagels, toast, cereal!! Oh my, cereal has been a saving grace. Not gonna lie I treated myself to some Captain Crunch and it was delightful.

Also, something so funny. I was so easily triggered by things. Peppermint oil helped so much for a particularly rough week with nausea, but then a week or so later, if I smelt peppermint it would remind me of that rough week and would make me feel sick… so hilariously bizarre.

Lately it has been cookies. Again, need to get back on a healthy routine real quick. I went to Diablo Foods a week or so ago and bought a bag of 10 fresh baked cookies in checkout and ate the whole bag in 24 hours.

How have you felt mental health wise? Did you have first trimester anxiety?

I want to start by saying that I’ve learned that everyone has such a different experience. I also never ever want to come across ungrateful for the blessing of getting pregnant, but this is something I’ve thought about a lot during these last couple of months that I want to open up about.

Mentally it was really hard in the first trimester. I admittedly went into pregnancy with a perspective that most likely made the experience more challenging for myself. From whatever I have collected over time, the messages I’ve held onto in my mind (selective observing?) were that pregnancy was blissful—and that just wasn’t how the beginning unfolded for me. I had some really low points, mentally and physically and just didn’t feel like myself for what felt like a really long time.

I was so ill and it was hard to focus on anything other than how I was feeling. I also didn’t know how long it would last, so that was interesting, too. I think I also just felt sad and super guilty that I wasn’t feeling excited or inspired by anything during that timeframe. Again, not my personality so I just didn’t recognize myself and that was hard. That said, even though my symptoms were challenging to navigate at times, it gave me hope that my baby was healthy and things were working!

Work was put on hold, because I just can’t force it. it’s why I’ve been a little quieter than usual! I really missed feeling inspired and creative. But it passes!!! I wanted to share this with you because I wish I would have known these possibilities. I googled articles trying to relate to something quite a lot during those times and didn’t come across a lot. I was talking to a friend about this, I don’t know why I was somewhat surprised early on when I started to feel terribly… our bodies are building a human brain for goodness sake! Our bodies are next level incredible.

But let me tell you… my most recent ultrasound made EVERY second worth it. I can’t even begin to express the emotions that took over me when our baby popped up on the monitor. One glimpse of that sweet little profile made me forget about all the morning sickness, it was just such an incredible moment. I am teary just thinking about it!

By the way, the nurse and I were cracking up because it looked like the baby was cocking its head up towards us and waving… the wiggling around was non-stop and so surreal to see! She was like wow, so active …this was the cookie afternoon… LOL.

What has keeping this secret been like?

So tough!!!! Coming from an over-sharer, I am thrilled for today!!!

I am also a horrible liar / actress. I inserted a few wine shots (Matt’s) on stories a couple months back but then just gave up because I was too sick and physically couldn’t pretend that all was dandy over here. Also, I am so used to sharing things top of mind… it’s how my business operates. So not being able to share what actually was going on in my brain / life was tricky…

Old fashioned or modern names?

I like both! But I lean more towards traditional. I have had a baby name list for a long time now… a couple in which go back to when I was like 15!

What’s your early vision for the nursery?

Warm, earthy tones with lots of texture. The nursery has such beautiful lighting, can’t wait to paint it a beautiful hue and start putting it together.

(So many of these! haha) How has it been not being able to sip on wine?

So, I love the ritual of wine. The pouring of a good glass on a Friday night with pizza… so I mainly just miss being able to participate in that! Lately though it just doesn’t sound good to me. When I see you all tag me in wine posts, again, it just makes me miss that ritual. Our baby is due early June so I am looking forward to having a whole summer ahead of us and excited for baby in one arm and a spritz in the other in our backyard!

I want to leave you with this… if you’re a soon-to-be mama, you’ve got this. Nothing good comes easy… and I just know, even by my tiny glimpse thus far during that ultrasound, that the magic we’re creating is worth everything. xx

Gender reveal up live! You can watch it here (:

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